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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24505720">A Sky Full Of Stars</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/felixfrckls/pseuds/felixfrckls'>felixfrckls</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bang Chan is Whipped, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Drinking, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Happy pride month, How Do I Tag, Lee Felix is a dumbass, M/M, Minor Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Parties, Pointless fluff, Seo Changbin is mentioned, Texting, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Wrote this in three hours</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:27:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,404</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24505720</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/felixfrckls/pseuds/felixfrckls</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Before, “God, Felix, you’re such an idiot.”</p><p>And the line went dead for real.</p><p>Felix blinked at the background of his phone staring back at him, the words <em>call ended</em> shining on the screen. Not only was Felix now sure that something really was wrong, but he also knew it was his fault.</p><p>All clues led to making Felix believe something had happened the night before.</p><p>It was a pity he couldn’t remember a thing.</p><p>(or, Felix drinks too much and can't remember anything from the night before. All he knows is that Chan won't talk to him.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bang Chan/Lee Felix</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>271</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Sky Full Of Stars</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hope you enjoy this! &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Parties for Felix had always been nothing more than a chance to relax and hang out with his friends. Whenever he was invited to one, his first thought wasn’t about getting wasted or messing around, instead, he was just glad he could take a break from everything and loosen up. When he was in high school parties were a thing but they were mostly a place for excited teenagers to do weird things he didn’t find entertaining at all. Besides that, then he still lived with his parents and having a curfew didn’t exactly allow him that much freedom. </p><p>However, things changed when he moved to college. Living in a dorm with his best friend meant finally having more room to do whatever they wanted and, even leaving that aside, college parties were actually a lot more fun and weren’t just about drinking and smoking like they were the only entertaining activities one could do. That sure was a reason, but perhaps Felix also liked going to parties now because in college he had met the best group of friends he could have ever asked for.</p><p>It all started when Felix was introduced to his new roommate, Jisung, and the two clicked immediately. Since they were basically joined at the hip, Jisung was excited to introduce Felix to his own group of friends when the boy told him that he didn’t know anyone yet. In the beginning, Felix felt like he couldn’t fit in because they had all known each other for a very long time and some of them were definitely sceptical to add someone to their little, special group. Felix couldn’t blame them at all and it came to a point when he considered telling Jisung not to worry about him and hang out with his friends alone.</p><p>Luckily, Felix didn’t have the time to make his final decision before the boys opened up to him too, finding it hard not to when Felix was always so kind and sweet to them. Chan was probably the most sceptical and seemed reluctant to be himself around Felix but he accepted his friends’ decision and never said anything against it. Not even a week later, after having spent more time together and learned more about the other, Chan too let his guard down and even explained to Felix why he was so hostile towards him. Apparently, Chan tended to get very protective of his friends and he didn’t want them to get hurt but, once he realised Felix was just as happy to be in their presence as the boys were to have him, he couldn’t help but feel the same.</p><p>Everyone says that the best friendships are those between two people who didn’t use to get along at all and Chan and Felix were there to prove exactly that. As much as Felix was close with everyone in the group and he considered them all his best friends, Jisung was the one he was the most himself around, being silly and playful all the time but they didn’t have much deeper conversations. Not because they didn’t trust each other, the exact opposite actually, it just wasn’t their thing.</p><p>That was Felix and Chan’s thing. Their friendship was the kind of bond created after countless nights when neither of them could sleep, so they spent them around campus, talking and laughing together. The <em> wanna hang out </em>at two in the morning when everyone was asleep but neither of them was. The shared secret places and body language the other had learned to recognise and read immediately.</p><p>Now, Felix might have questioned if it was normal to feel this warm and content around a friend as if he could forget about the world around them and live just for those moments, but he didn’t like the response he came up with. He knew he didn’t feel like that around the rest of the group even though he cared about them immensely, but he soon promised to himself to keep quiet about it. The idea of losing Chan and what they had was far scarier than keep doing the stuff they did without putting any label on it. After all, he still could feel warm and fuzzy around him without telling anything and, by doing that, he could at least be sure not to give Chan any reason to put distance between them. </p><p>Back to the present day, because Felix had such a great group of friends, he was always excited to hang out with them, even though they basically saw each other every day. Parties were a perfect chance to do that and, meanwhile, spend some time in a different environment as well. This time it was Minho who told them that one of his friends from one of his classes was throwing a party that Friday and they were invited to tag along. They didn’t hesitate to confirm their presence and, in a blink of an eye, Friday came and they were all in Minho’s friend’s house, just outside of the campus. </p><p>Indeed Felix wasn’t usually one to act recklessly at all, but, sometime during the night, he had got a bit carried away after Jisung challenged him on who could drink more shots in fifteen seconds. What he knew was that a minute before he was sitting on a couch with his friends, a beer in his hand and the music loudly playing in the packed house and, ten minutes later, he had adrenaline running into his veins and his head spinning like a top. Nevertheless, he still finished the beer in his hand.</p><p>That was actually pretty much all he remembered from that party and, the day after, he woke up back in his room with one of the biggest hangovers he had ever had. Judging from the state Jisung was in, he could guess he was feeling like shit too. When Felix tried to think back to how they had even got home, he couldn’t remember a thing but they were both safe and sound so he figured their friends had something to do with it.</p><p>With his head pounding, making it painful to even turn around, he still reached for his phone, glad that it was charging on the nightstand. The light coming from it made him grunt which, in turn, made Jisung whine as if he had just screamed into his ear. Ignoring his friend completely, Felix opened his texts to see if he could figure out what had happened the night before and who he had to thank for bringing them home. </p><p>Before he opened the group chat though, he noticed the lack of the usual good morning text from Chan. It was something silly, but it had become some sort of routine for Felix to wake up to those two words on his screen and, not finding anything wasn’t the start of the day he was hoping for. He then figured that Chan was probably still asleep since it wasn’t that late anyway and he had had a few drinks too the other night.</p><p>Opening the group chat with his friends, he could see a few texts from them from the night before and, among those, one from Changbin asking if they had all got home safe and thanking Chan from bringing Felix and Jisung to the dorm. Smiling at the thought, Felix made a mental note to himself to thank Chan too. While he kept reading, he was surprised to notice that some of the latest messages in the chat were actually from Chan who had sent them that same morning which meant he was indeed awake. Felix was confused because Chan had never missed a day in wishing Felix a good morning as soon as he woke up but apparently he had just forgotten.</p><p>Deciding not to overthink it too much, Felix read through the texts quickly before one caught his attention. In the mess of waking up with a hangover, he had forgotten that the party they went to was to celebrate the beginning of spring break and Chan was visiting his family for the week. The text Chan had sent that morning said that he didn’t get a chance to say goodbye because he was running late and was now already on his way to his parent’s house. </p><p>No matter how much he tried, Felix couldn’t help feeling like there was something off with Chan. First, no good morning text which wasn’t anything serious but it was still weird and, second, Chan had clearly told them that his train didn’t leave before midday and it was only ten in the morning. That meant that either his schedule had changed or, for some reason, Chan didn’t want to see them before leaving. Anyway, feeling too tired and dizzy to think too much over it, he decided to text Chan himself, sending a quick <em> good morning </em> and thanking him for bringing him home safe.</p><p>Because of the lack of news from Chan, Felix didn’t expect any answer for a while so, when the word <em> read </em> appeared almost immediately under the message he had just sent, Felix blinked surprised. His surprise soon turned into confusion when no answer came and Chan went offline again, leaving his text unanswered. Now, something definitely felt off with Chan’s behaviour but Felix still tried to convince himself he was just being paranoid. After all, Chan was probably busy getting ready for his trip - if it was true that his train was at midday - so it was understandable he had quickly read the text but didn’t manage to respond.</p><p>Still feeling like death and not having anything better to do, Felix decided to stay in bad some more and possibly catch a few more minutes of sleep. It seemed like he had managed to do exactly that before he was rudely woken up by someone shaking his shoulders impatiently.</p><p>“Come on, Felix. Wake up,” a voice Felix recognised as Jisung’s called. “You useless idiot, wake up.”</p><p>The urgency in Jisung’s voice and the insult did the trick and Felix opened his eyes, finally waking up. He felt slightly better but his head was still hurting, he should have probably taken some painkillers before going back to sleep. While standing in front of his bed, Jisung didn’t seem affected at all by the hangover he was definitely feeling or maybe it was just the worry on his face hiding it.</p><p>“What the fuck, Jisung? What’s happening?” Felix grunted, feeling both annoyed at being woken up so suddenly and concerned for his friend who literally looked on the verge of tears.</p><p>Jisung didn’t even let Felix finish before he explained himself. “I think I kissed Minho last night,” he blurted out, flopping on his bed while he said it as the mere words had made him lose all his strength. Felix, on the other hand, blinked away his confusion before shooting up into a sitting position and looking at his best friend as if he had just grown a second head.</p><p>“You think you did what?” he couldn’t help asking, sure that the pounding in his head had made him misunderstand Jisung’s words. He definitely was not expecting that to be the first thing he heard that morning.</p><p>Jisung and Minho had always had this weird thing going on. They weren’t together per se but Felix was pretty sure it was just because Minho wanted Jisung to make the first move and Jisung was too shy and scared to do that. The level of flirting when those two were together was gross, but even after all those months, Minho insisted not to make it official before Jisung came clear about it, while the younger was still somehow scared he was reading everything wrong.</p><p>Now, the fact that Jisung apparently kissed Minho was definitely something Felix could have never guessed.</p><p>“After we drank those shots I was pretty drunk so I don’t remember much, but I can’t get out of my head this picture of us kissing,” Jisung explained, with big puppy eyes. “I mean, it isn’t like I have never pictured it before but it feels so real. And I woke up to a text from Minho saying that he hopes the alcohol didn’t make me forget everything.”</p><p>Felix was at a loss of words, never believing that Jisung really had the guts to do that, sober or drunk. If Felix didn’t know better, he could think his friend had finally sorted their things out but, since he knew how much fun Minho was probably having with it, he guessed Jisung still had to address it himself for Minho to finally take it.</p><p>“Why are you freaking out? You two have been skirting around each other for months now, this is finally your chance to properly confess to him,” Felix tried to make him reason, understanding how upset Jisung was but, at the same time, knowing there was no way things between them weren’t going to turn out just fine, not after all the flirting that had been going on for months.</p><p>“Are you crazy? What if I fucked up?” Jisung asked, his lower lip trembling and his eyes getting glassy.</p><p>As much as Felix didn’t want to be an asshole and make Jisung feel like he was underestimating his feelings, he found it ridiculous that Jisung really thought that kissing Minho could be considered fucking up what they had. Minho was as smitten with him as Jisung himself was and the text the older had sent him that morning was a confirmation.</p><p>“Seung, listen to me,” Felix said, as firmly and convincingly as possible. “If he really was disgusted by the idea of kissing you, why would he want you to remember everything? Besides, he has made it clear more than once that he’s waiting for you to do something with the feelings you have.”</p><p>Jisung seemed to ponder about it now, having been too upset and shocked before to logically think about what Felix was telling him. His lip stopped trembling as he took a deep breath, “I need to think about it”.</p><p>Felix groaned loudly, not understanding what there was to think about but figuring that if Jisung needed time then there was nothing else he could do to make him realise how wrong he was. As the boy went to their bathroom to take a shower, Felix checked his phone again and frowned when he still found no answer from Chan. Once again, Chan had sent a message to their group chat saying he was on the train, but he had completely ignored Felix’s texts. </p><p>Before he could overthink everything again and start panicking, he decided to call Chan and see if everything was alright because it sure didn’t feel like it. A few seconds went by and, as the phone kept ringing and the call was not picked up, Felix’s frown got deeper and deeper. When he was about to hang up, Chan’s voice finally rang from the other side.</p><p>“Hey, did I wake you up?” Felix quickly asked, now realising that since Chan was on the train he was probably napping away the trip. The silence from the other side was not something he was used to.</p><p>“No, don’t worry. I was just listening to some music,” Chan explained and if Felix thought something was off before, he was even more certain now that he heard the strange tone in Chan's voice. Besides that, Felix realised that the music on Chan's phone had probably stopped as soon as the ringing started, so it meant he had actively avoided answering. Felix blinked quickly when he realised Chan’s first intention was probably to ignore his call too.</p><p>“Is everything alright? You’re a bit off today,” Felix pointed out as carefully as possible, scared to say something wrong. In the months they had become closer, every time there was something they needed to discuss, they did it as quickly as possible so that they could go back to how things usually were. This, the ignoring, was something Felix had never experienced, not from Chan at least.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I’m just a bit tired. Nothing’s wrong,” Chan tried to reassure him but it sounded so strained that Felix couldn’t help only getting more worried. Felix really wanted to call him out for it, to tell him that he was clearly lying but he felt like he had no right to. If Chan needed some time, then best friends or not, he was no one to force him to talk. So he just accepted the half-hearted apology.</p><p>“Wanna hear something weird?” Felix asked instead, not used to the awkwardness between them. He felt like they were back to the beginning of their friendship, when Felix did all he could do to make Chan trust him while the older didn’t share more than two words with him.</p><p>To that, Chan at least hummed and Felix took it as a positive sign to go ahead.</p><p>“Apparently, Jisung kissed Minho yesterday,” Felix revealed excitedly, knowing that Chan shared his same opinion about their friends’ relationship. Now, Felix was ready for all kind of reactions, for Chan to freak out, to ask more questions, even to tell him he didn’t believe him. What he did not expect was pure and utter silence. So much silence that if it wasn’t for the sound of the train moving in the background, Felix would have thought that the line went dead. </p><p>Not expecting that kind of reaction and not knowing what to do, he kept talking. “And the craziest part is that Minho texted Jisung this morning and Jisung is still convinced Minho doesn’t feel the same. Would you believe it?” he asked, trying to pry any kind of reaction or comment out of Chan.</p><p>Instead, there was only silence again.</p><p>Before, “God, Felix, you’re such an idiot.”</p><p>And the line went dead for real.</p><p>Felix blinked at the background of his phone staring back at him, the words <em> call ended </em> shining on the screen. Not only was Felix now sure that something really was wrong, but he also knew it was his fault.</p><p>All clues led to making Felix believe something had happened the night before.</p><p>It was a pity he couldn’t remember a thing.</p><p>…</p><p>Felix being Felix couldn’t let it go so easily so, instead of trying to get the answer on his own, he kept calling and texting Chan with no results at all. The boy was often online, reading all his texts and even sending some in the group chat but still, nothing. When two days went by and Felix still didn’t get any kind of answer, he figured he had to find it out by himself so at least he knew what he was apologizing for. </p><p>The first possibility that came to his mind made his heartache but he kept pondering. Chan might have had a crush on Jisung or Minho and Felix had upset him by bringing up the topic. After all, they had been friends for a long time, something that rarely but still made Felix feel out of place at times, and, only because Chan didn’t tell him about it, it didn’t mean that it wasn’t possible. The only thing that still didn’t make sense was the fact that Chan was clearly avoiding him before the phone call so if he knew about it before, why getting mad at Felix of all people?</p><p>That made Felix reconsider his first thought, telling him that the alcohol he had drunk that night had made him forget something fundamental, something that had clearly made Chan upset. No matter how hard he tried to focus on what he did at the party, all he could remember was having fun with his friends, drinking too much just to win over Jisung and then waking up the following morning in his own bed. That too, if Chan was so mad, why offering to take him home and even plugging his phone in so it didn’t die. Felix figured that he was not going to get anything more out of his own brain so he might as well ask his friends who were there and may have witnessed something.</p><p>Felix wasn’t that eager to let everyone know that something was going on between Chan and him because they would get worried for nothing, so he decided to ask Minho, the only who he was sure remembered the whole night. In that way, if he was lucky and Minho had really seen something, he would at least be able to tell Felix about it and maybe help him figure out how to fix the mess he apparently made. </p><p>Spring break was not over yet, which meant that Felix had a few more days to remember what he had done before Chan would be back and things would get extremely awkward. Felix sent Minho a quick text, asking him to come over to their room whenever he could because he needed to talk to him. Felix had already told Jisung about the conversation with Chan so he had no problems with him listening to whatever Minho could tell him. Maybe, just maybe, he had also invited Minho over instead of going out himself so that Jisung and he could finally have a chance to talk.</p><p>Apparently, Minho wasn’t that busy that day either because around half an hour later he was already at their dorm, smirking as soon as he made eye contact with a blushing Jisung. As much as Felix found it pretty amusing to watch the exchange, he had more urgent matters to attend to. As soon as Minho set on the chair they had besides their shared desk, Felix started addressing his problem.</p><p>“So, I need your help with something,” Felix started and saw Minho’s brows frowning in worry. “Since you clearly remember everything from the party, did you perhaps notice if something happened between Chan and me?” Felix didn’t think he could be so nervous to be so close to finding out what had happened. He was definitely scared to have majorly fucked up and that Chan didn’t want to talk to him anymore. It sure looked like it.</p><p>The concern on Minho’s face disappeared as soon as Felix asked his question and the smirk taking its place made Felix even more nervous if possible. That reaction made Felix instantly understand that he really had done something to Chan, now the real question was to find out what that something was.</p><p>“You don’t remember anything either?” Minho asked instead, still looking extremely smug. “You two got really wasted.” The expression on Felix’s face must have softened him slightly because he stopped teasing and instead started to explain what he knew.</p><p>“Do you know why this idiot kissed me?” Minho questioned, pointing at Jisung who let out a yelp not expecting to be called out so openly. Felix shook his head, not understanding where Minho was going with this and what he had to do with him. “He bet you didn’t have the guts to kiss your crush. When you did, you turned it back to him and that’s why he kissed me.”</p><p>With every word Minho added, the dread in Felix grew immensely. He had teased Jisung so much about kissing Minho so out of the blue and apparently he was even worse, doing the same thing and not even being able to remember.</p><p>“Fuck, did I kiss Chan?” he asked to no one because the answer clear already. Minho’s smirk came back in full force while Jisung screeched even louder, feeling exactly like Felix had felt when he had told him the same thing.</p><p>Now, it all made sense. The avoiding, the short answers, the outburst. Chan wasn’t mad because he had mentioned that Jisung kissed Minho, he was mad because he did the exact same thing. Not only had he teased his friends for it like he was any better, but he had brought up the topic with Chan of all people. Chan who was probably disgusted and incredibly upset with what he did if all the ignoring meant anything. After all, they weren’t Jisung and Minho. Chan had never shown any kind of interest in Felix and Felix had been so good at hiding everything from him.</p><p>The idea of having lost everything and not even being able to remember the feeling of Chan's lips on his made him sick.</p><p>“What the fuck do I do now?” Felix thought out loud, honestly feeling like he could have burst out crying at any moment now. Minho must have understood there was something more behind it because he looked at Jisung waiting for an answer. “Chan has been ignoring him since the party,” Jisung shortly explained, feeling guilty for having challenged Felix to do that and now deal with the consequences alone.</p><p>“I called him the day after and when I told him you two kissed, he called me an idiot and hung up. He hasn’t texted or called me back ever since,” Felix added, the thought bringing back that same painful ache in his chest.</p><p>“You didn’t hear this from me, but I think he’s more disappointed by the fact that you don’t remember than by the fact that you actually kissed him,” Minho said, shaking his head at the poor way Chan decided to deal with this mess. Felix blinked at that, not understanding what Minho was trying to tell him. The only reason why Felix thought Chan would have wanted him to remember the kiss was that like that he could at least apologize for it properly.</p><p>“I don’t think I get what you mean,” Felix sighed, feeling closer to the core of the problem but still not knowing how to deal with it. Talking to Chan could probably solve everything but he was still ignoring him, every attempt failing miserably.</p><p>Minho chuckled, this time fondly before he got up and ruffled Felix’s hair. “It isn’t my place to tell, Lix. But talk to him, I know he’s not answering now but he will be back in two days and he can’t avoid you in person,” he reassured and moved towards the door leaving a miserable Felix behind.</p><p>Just before he left, Minho stopped, “Jisung, can we talk for a second?”</p><p>Jisung got up in a hurry and followed Minho out and Felix was happy at least one of them was getting something out of this mess. Before he decided to busy himself with something so it could give his mind a break, he sent one last text to Chan.</p><p><em> I’m sorry I kissed you </em>.</p><p>Offline. Online. Read. Offline.</p><p>Felix sighed.</p><p>…</p><p>The two last days of spring break passed by quickly and, with each passing second, Felix grew more and more determined. Chan didn’t want to talk to him, had avoided any contact with him for the past week but he could not do that anymore now that the two would meet face to face every day again. With that being said, Felix was truthfully eager to apologize, hoped Chan could forgive him and not look at him under another light but go back instead to how things used to be.</p><p>The more he thought about it, the more Felix realises he didn’t have much to explain. He kissed Chan, Chan freaked out and was upset because of it. The only thing Felix could now do to make things better was apologizing and, perhaps, make it seem like the alcohol did all the work and there were no feelings involved. After all, Chan couldn’t know he felt something and, if he played his cards right, he could keep it like that. </p><p>Finally, spring break was over and Chan was back on campus. If it wasn’t for the fact that he was starting to become desperate, Felix would have actually found it amusing how good Chan was at avoiding him even now. When Felix was eating lunch with the group, Chan wasn’t there, if they decided to hang out all together, Chan was suddenly busy. No phone calls, no texts, nothing and Felix honestly felt like he could explode.</p><p>It was even harder when Felix kept trashing in his bed late at night, knowing that he couldn’t have the only thing that made him feel better when he couldn’t sleep. That was when Felix fully and totally understood how much he had fucked up and how irreparable things could get if he kept waiting for Chan to let him in again. He was probably a fool for believing this could work, but Felix decided to play his last card and if it didn’t bring any result, well, then he would corner Chan somewhere and demanded him to listen to his apology.</p><p>Felix took his phone and quickly typed the familiar words. <em> Wanna hang out </em>.</p><p>One would think the text didn’t say anything at all but, for them, it did. Three words that told the other about a place, a time and a feeling. Never, not even once, that text had gone unnoticed. Chan could have been exhausted, sick, in a really bad mood, whatever, but he had never ignored that text in the months they had become friends. Felix hoped it was still like that.</p><p>He didn’t wait for an answer, he knew there wasn’t one coming anyway, but his heart did a little flip when the word <em> read </em> appeared again. That same word that had hunted him for the past week was now giving him so much hope. He trusted Chan so, without a second thought, he pulled on his warmest hoodie, put on his shoes and started walking to their place.</p><p>The one they usually hung out at when they couldn’t sleep wasn’t one of the secret places they shared, but, instead, it was one of the most popular and common places around the campus. Nevertheless, at this time of the night, it was hard to find someone there. The little circular square placed right at the entrance of the campus made them always feel like they were in one of the smaller parks in the city, the benches around it ready for tourists to sit and have a break between sightseeing tours. </p><p>But, what they loved the most about it was the fountain placed right in the middle of the little square. During the day and during the night as well, water kept pouring out of it and the way the rays of the moon reflected on it was breathtaking. It had always made them smile how such a mundane thing like a fountain they saw every day became so mesmerizing when it was dark outside, the light of the starts making everything look different.</p><p>Felix had always been amazed when he looked at it and, even now, before taking a seat on one of the benches, he couldn’t help getting lost in the reflection of the stars across the clear water, making the coins on the bottom of it shine brightly. Once he finally took his attention away from it, he started waiting for Chan to arrive while one part of him still wanted to facepalm for being so stupid. After all, Chan had done everything to avoid him for more than a week now so there was no reason why he would suddenly decide to meet him of his own accord. </p><p>Another part of Felix, however, felt like this was tradition. Their nightly hangouts weren’t just that, they were something special for the both of them and he believed that, for Chan too, it wouldn't feel right to just ignore it. If Chan really didn’t come, then Felix was pretty sure things were so bad that he didn’t know if he could fix them anymore. If instead, he did come, then there was still hope.</p><p>Five minutes went by, then ten. On normal days, Chan would have already been there but Felix didn’t give up, either too delusional or just too confident. When he saw a figure moving in the shadows and recognized it as Chan the closer it came, Felix let out a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding. Seeing Chan coming towards him felt like an illusion his tired brain was creating just to make him shut up and go to sleep. But it wasn’t, it was Chan in the flesh and, surprisingly, he looked as nervous as Felix felt.</p><p>Chan silently set down beside him, such a familiar action that still felt incredibly different now. It had been a long time since Felix had felt this self-conscious around Chan and the fact that he knew he had done something wrong and he could have avoided this whole mess made him feel even guiltier. At least Chan was there, so it meant that he too was willing to talk it out and was finally ready to listen to what Felix had to say. </p><p>“I feel like I haven’t talked to you in years,” Felix greeted, his voice much shakier than he would have liked it to be. And indeed it felt like years, at least since he had had any kind of response from Chan and his attempts didn’t go to waste.</p><p>“It has only been a week, Lix,” Chan chuckled softly, the sound making Felix's heart pound in his chest. It was then that Felix realised he had no idea why Chan was the nervous one. He could understand angry or upset, but nervous was something he couldn’t quite grasp, not when he wasn’t the one at fault.</p><p>“That’s basically the longest we have gone not talking to each other,” Felix pointed out, not even sure why he was focusing on such a meaningless detail now. It only made him sound like a petulant child in need of attention, so much for keeping his feelings for himself.</p><p>Chan didn’t say anything to that and, once again, didn’t show any reaction, he just fixed his eyes on the fountain as if it was the most interesting sight in the whole world. For a few minutes, Felix enjoyed the silence and Chan's presence, something he had definitely missed a lot. Many of their nights were spent like that, basking in the silence together after a busy day and finding comfort in just having the other close, but this time Felix couldn’t feel as relaxed.</p><p>“I’m sorry I kissed you that night at the party,” Felix said out of the blue, too tired with everything to come up with something better to say. Now, all he cared about was getting Chan back and he knew that there was no point in trying to sugarcoat it when Chan could usually see right through him. “I was really drunk and I don’t remember a single thing about it. But apparently, Jisung challenged me to do that and my drunk self decided it was a good idea.” Felix tried hard to avoid mentioning the fact that Jisung didn’t exactly challenge him to kiss Chan specifically, he figured that the explanation was already enough to make Chan at least understand the situation.</p><p>Instead, Felix's words somehow managed to make Chan frown even deeper and, this time, Felix really had no idea what was wrong. “So you did that only because Jisung challenged you?” Chan asked and, honestly, among all the questions he could have had, it was once again not what Felix was expecting Chan to say. He perhaps took a second too long to nod but he did it anyway. “Why would he do that? I mean, of all people, why me?” he questioned.</p><p>Chan had now turned his attention fully on Felix and the younger definitely wished he hadn’t. There was something in Chan's eyes, something he had seen once already when he had worked hard on an assignment, staying up the whole night to make it perfect, but still didn’t get the mark he was hoping for. That time it was nothing but pure and simple disappointment which he tried to hide behind smiles, saying that he didn’t matter and he was satisfied anyway. Felix believed he could recognise that same glint now.</p><p>Felix found it incredibly hard to lie to him when Chan's eyes didn’t leave his face for a single second. If Felix didn’t know any better, he would have said there was a tiny spark of hope in Chan’s eyes as well but Felix was pretty sure it just came from the possibility of fixing things between them. After all, Felix wasn’t a fool, he knew Chan cared about him too, just not in the same way. Felix kept trying to buy himself some time to come up with an answer to that, but Chan's stare burned so intensely on his skin that he couldn’t bring himself to tell anything but the truth.</p><p>“He might have challenged me to kiss my crush,” Felix finally confessed and would have laughed at the way Chan's eyes widened if he didn’t feel like he was about to throw up. Chan kept staring at him, without saying a single word and Felix started to believe he had just crashed all hopes to let this mess behind.</p><p>“Look, this doesn’t have to change anything. I get that you’re upset about it and didn’t want to talk to me, even though I was drunk I should have never--” Felix went on an on, trying his best to reassure Chan that it was fine and he would just put all his feelings aside and try to forget about it all. He would have finished saying that if Chan hadn’t interrupted him mid-sentence.</p><p>“I was upset because I didn’t know what to think abou it,” Chan suddenly said, Felix's words dying on his lips. “You came over to me like that, out of the blue, kissed me and then you left me there. The day after you didn’t remember a single thing.” As Chan explained his point of view, Felix realised how much of an asshole he had been and being drunk was not an excuse for his behaviour at all.</p><p>“Fuck, Chan, I’m so sorry I did that,” he tried to apologize again, hating himself even more for not remembering that night. Chan had all the rights to feel upset and the fact that Felix was even joking about it at the beginning must have made everything even more difficult for him.</p><p>Chan sighed. “I told Minho I have a crush on you a few months ago. I thought he had told you something about it and you were making fun of me for that. I know you would never do that but I really didn’t know how to explain that otherwise.” Felix couldn’t quite place the tone of Chan’s voice, it sounded both tired and happy as if, for some reason, he was satisfied with Felix’s explanation.</p><p>Felix was about to apologize once again, not knowing what else he could say to make Chan believe him but then his brain fully grasped each and every word Chan had told him. “Did you just say you have a crush on me?” Felix asked, blinking quickly as he tried to search for Chan's eyes to read the lie in them. He didn’t find any, only so much fondness and nervousness.</p><p>“Well, yes. I kind of thought it was obvious actually,” Chan confessed, rubbing his ear which had turned bright red even in the darkness. Felix was the one remaining completely silent now, his brain a big mess of thoughts as he didn’t know what to say because he had never expected this turn of events. He had expected Chan to hopefully accept his apology, pretend like nothing had happened and have to keep hiding his feeling from him until they were gone. </p><p>But now, Chan’s behaviour finally made sense. He wasn’t upset because Felix had kissed him per se, but because he didn’t remember, exactly as Minho had told him. His crush had kissed him without any explanation and he felt like it had been nothing more than a joke to him. Felix couldn’t even imagine how hurt he would have been in Chan's place if the roles had been reversed. He would have felt ridiculed and disappointed by the person he cared so much about.</p><p>“It definitely wasn’t,” Felix whispered in awe. He had no idea where things were going to lead them now, and, the more he thought about it, the more it seemed impossible to wrap his mind around the fact that Chan had felt the same all along. “I’m sorry I acted like that and I’m even more sorry I made you feel like it was a joke. It really wasn’t, even though it came from a dare from Jisung.”</p><p>“I know now, Lix. Yes, it wasn’t the best choice you’ve made but we sorted it out now so you can stop worrying about it,” Chan finally accepted his apology as his expression became brighter. The smile on his lips was almost blinding, even in the dark of the night, and Felix really felt like he had never been so smitten with someone in his entire life, the idea that the feeling was mutual made him buzz with excitement. There was one single thing left that was still worrying his mind.</p><p>“Hey, Chan,” Felix called as if Chan's attention wasn’t on him already, “kisses before the first date don’t count as official kisses, right?” Felix tried to make it sound playful, but the fact that the first kiss they shared was something he couldn’t remember made him really upset with himself, let alone the fact that it had been the cause of so much drama. </p><p>Chan laughed at that but Felix could see it in the fondness of his smile that he had understood what kind of thoughts were really swimming in Felix's mind. “Then can we consider this our first date so I can kiss you now?” Chan asked, the teasing smirk on his lips so in contrast with the utter affection in his eyes.</p><p>“Just kiss me,” Felix whispered, no point in talking any louder when Chan was so close to him already. And he was coming closer as the space between them became inexistent. </p><p>Felix was pretty sure no kiss could be more perfect than the one they were sharing under the moonlight. He felt a mixture of relief to have Chan there again after having missed him so much and pure and simple love, something he had thought he could have never shown Chan properly. What made his heart speed up even more was the way Chan held him so gently as if he was the most precious creature in the universe and he was afraid to ruin him. Kissing Chan felt like the most natural thing he had ever experienced as if they had done it countless times before and this was routine by now. It was like it was meant to be and no one could fit against Felix as well as Chan did.</p><p>They pulled apart slowly, neither of them particularly fond of the idea of putting space between them. Chan lent his forehead against Felix's while his thumbs caressed the freckled skin on his cheeks and Felix couldn’t help but lean in the touch.</p><p>“Are you sure you’re going to remember this one tomorrow morning?” Chan teased but he still couldn't bring himself to pull away from him. The pure happiness radiating off him made it hard for Felix to believe that Chan was really his to have.</p><p>Felix smiled before pressing a quick kiss on the corner of Chan's still smiling lips. “Kiss me some more, then I’m sure I won’t forget,” he said and Chan didn’t waste a second to do exactly that, actually far too happy to give Felix whatever he wanted.</p><p>Felix could have never imagined things to turn out like this, not after a week of radio silence from Chan and so many questions asked to himself to figure out what he had done, believing nothing could be saved. </p><p>But there they were, fighting against all odds. And Felix was pretty sure he was going to love that place, the fountain in the middle of the square, even more now that the water reflected two lovers sharing sweet kisses under the moonlight.</p><p>The stars shined on them, witnessing the creation of the most special of bonds.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm back at this again! I wrote this in like three hours so it's nothing special but still, I had a lot of fun with this uwu<br/>Thanks to Eddie who once again beta read this, I love you &lt;3</p><p>i'm always up for a talk @<br/><a href="https://twitter.com/jaentlemoon/">twitter</a><br/><a href="https://www.instagram.com/daydlysins/">instagram</a><br/><a href="https://curiouscat.me/jaentlemoon">cc</a><br/></p></blockquote></div></div>
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